Wow - what a hiatus!

It's been an entire year since I posted to this blog.  I hadn't realized that so much time was passing.

I have looked back at this year to try to figure out what has been going on with me and my art.  Several things have been happening the past few years - personal stuff - that have pushed art aside.  My energy has been going in a different direction, much to my frustration.  I have slowly, in the past month, been re-focusing my life and moving back into art-making, so I will be posting more often. 

I've let family life and just life dictate to me instead of me dictating my schedule to life.  I've spent my creative energy helping other artists (putting together a short-term gallery and at work).  I've also been wallowing in resentment over family issues, plus just dealing with some, like my step-mother passing away this summer. 

One thing that I do know is that I am suffering a crisis of confidence.  I have looked at a lot of art lately and although I know that I am at a high level as far as my own region goes, I am not producing anything that could elevate me to gallery/museum level even locally, much less outside this area.  My work is attractive, and certainly artists like it, because it's almost like an inside joke - they get how hard it is to produce it in the media I'm working in.  But, it's not going to appeal to a larger audience, I don't think.  I was hoping by this time in my life to be showing nationally, but I don't have the quality of work to do that.  That's my opinion, of course.

I'm still making art.  I've had a number of group shows, a small solo show, and I spent 10 days in Maine doing nothing but relax and make art.  Good art - just not great art. 

I was recently a juror for a very large art festival.  We looked at over 1300 artists in various media.  Granted, this was for an art festival, not a museum.  However, it gave me some idea of my "competition" at that level.  I would rank me somewhere in the middle - not outstanding, not forgettable.  So if I ever want to expand my audience, to be collected nationally and/or by museums, or in any way have a higher appeal - I need to ramp it up - in quality, for sure, possibly in subject/media and also possibly in quantity.

I know that most artists just make what appeals/comes to them.  I do that, also, to a certain extent.  But I haven't re-examined my artistic intent in quite some time - I've been playing, mostly.  I'll brood on that for awhile and post what I come up with. 

Garage sale follow-up

Well, after garage sale  - the shed we emptied needed a new floor, so that was last weekend, then today was building a ramp.  I'm also rebuilding shelves in my studio, and want to put down a small amount of floor (over new insulation) in the attic.  Maybe then I can get stuff put away - I would love to get Christmas stuff and extra books out of my studio.  I'm also moving my father's stuff out of his storage, so that will be Thanksgiving weekend.  Maybe then I can get my studio fixed up and more work done.  I am entering the Hunting Art Prize, not that it will do much good, sigh.  I've got a piece in the 9 x 12; that's about it for right now, but the very prospect of finally getting my studio set up has me very jazzed.  It has been in a halfway state for too long.  Of course, all of this depends on weather and keeping healthy.  All this hard manual labor has me sore and tired.  Oh, yeah, then I need to start on a piece for the 2012 FWCAC Biennial.

Pastels

I'm wondering if scale is part of my problem with the pastel works.  Maybe I need to try some on a larger scale - the 42" square pieces - see if that works better for me.  I love the intensity of the color, the softness of the pastel (don't want to use paint) the process of actually touching and scribbling and drawing on paper.  I have a couple of shows coming up - after this weekend I can get some work done (garage sale this weekend - purging some crap).  I'll experiment and we'll see how it goes.

A slew of shows; what next?

Contem?oraries is up until this Friday at the downtown library; Preservation ended in September, but the only two pieces not sold went to a show at Cedar Valley College - A Conversation: Cedar Valley and North Lake Faculty; still have a couple of pieces at ARTnForm. So I'm still showing, but struggling to make work - seems like every week there is some holdup about making new work. More about that, later.

So we did get busted for running a business in a residential zone. There were probably 1000 people through the gallery on Fall Gallery Night. We were featured on the front of the arts section of the newspaper, and so tons of people showed up. I wasn't able to be there so I was oblivious. The neighborhood was swamped, and someone called the code compliance people. So, right now, we're not selling out of the space; the artwork is hanging and available by appointment, but not open "to the public" The owner is hoping we can just let things settle down again and it will be ok, but the artists want to be able to advertise and be open to the general public, and I can't see how unless something changes. There are other issues if we go commercial, so I need to do a bunch of research. And my time is limited. So we have a young couple moving into one of the rooms - they'll allow it to continue to be insured as a residence, and they'll act as gallery attendents. They're older music students from Columbia, and they'll get a really nice bedsit in a larger house for really cheap. She's pregnant, so they have to save their money. This is a short-term solution.

As for work - I'm still struggling with the pastel on paper work. It's a lot harder to keep clean, and each of the pastels acts differently on the paper. Some of the pastel colors / brands crumble too easily, some of the colors powder off too easily, corrupting the other colors. So I'm still working on it. A lot of people say they like the color pieces, but I'm also still struggling with the very concept. I have worked with pastels for years and really like them, but they do have their difficulties. And part of what I'm doing is to reveal the possibilities of each media. But what else am I doing with these? Making pretty? Playing with color? Exploring the nuances of color combinations ala Joseph Albers? Haven't figured it out, yet.

Too Hot in Texas

Making work like crazy, sweating and trying to not drip on my paper. The library show, Contem?oraries, opens tonight. I have to go straight from work, which means that I'll be dressed down and wrinkled, besides. Oh, well.

Starting a new co-op gallery with 15 other artists. An artist friend has a rental house that is right in the cultural district. When the most recent tenants moved out she decided to fulfill a dream and open a gallery. Right now, it's still an informal arrangement, as the house is not zoned commercial. We're going to fill the house with art and throw parties for people who appreciate art. Hopefully that will fly under the radar enough that we can do it for awhile. So that's where I've been spending my extra time - creating artist agreements, sheetrocking some walls, weeding, painting - getting it ready for a Fall Gallery Night opening. Wish us luck!

Amazingly busy

Despite taking the past year off from making art, I managed to rack up a bunch of shows, and still produce or finish quite a few artworks. I'm now preparing for four shows, so I've got my work cut out for me. I'm framing a piece for a fundraising auction - gotta remember to photograph it first. That's a weakness of mine - I forget to photograph works; off they go to an auction or to a buyer or in trade, and then I realize I don't have a single photo. Idiot at work.

I started working in color this year. This is a small work I did just to try it out.

I'm also working on a large sculpture for Prairie Fest. I hope it works. Soon (when?) I have to go do a test run at the site to make sure it will hold together and look decent. The piece required 252 sticks. In actuality, I'll have to have over 260, in case something breaks or we don't accurately set out the circle (math, damn it). My arms and hands and back are killing me from cutting up branches. Ann Ekstrom has offered to lend me her man-0f-all-work for the installation, and I think I'll take her up on that. Not sure my bod would last, otherwise.

I'm in a group show at the downtown library (FW) this summer, and I need 4 - 6 works for that. It would be nice to have new works. I have quite a few pieces hanging upstairs in the Arts Council office corridor, but I need newer ones, too. I may be screwed as far as framing, though. The place I usually buy my cheap frames from hasn't been carrying the type I use. I'm too poor to get someone else to do it. I usually buy a fairly inexpensive frame and strip it down and rebuild it to my specs. Easier than it sounds. I don't know what I'll do now.

In the fall, I have another show with Preservation is the Art of the City. I think the library show may still be up, so I'll have to have new work for that show, also. Man, I need to get busy! So saying - back to work.

Setbacks and other excuses

I recently had a discussion with an artist mentor - to wit - NO EXCUSES. So I have finished the one piece. Whoopie. I'm out of money and paper, I hurt my back again, excuses, excuses. I'm trying to be gentle with myself while also pushing myself. I did get some work done in the studio - organizational - someone else to move things while I directed. That went well, and we've cleared some more space. Next, I need to sit down with my new toolboxes (thanks to cleaning out Dad's storage) and sort tools into them - this one for this kind of tools, this one for these others - that kind of thing. I have several broken toolboxes that I can just get rid of. I'm not allowed to lift even medium weight stuff - but I have help, if I will ask.

I could also start on some small pastel drawings while waiting to have the money to buy the proper paper for my charcoal drawings. The pastel will be more forgiving. Subject matter...needs thinking about. Hunting Prize is coming up - maybe I could begin something for that. Hmmm. I also have a canvas my friend gave me.

So, basically, I have the ability to start working again. I just need the gumption. Where are you, gumption?