Catching my breath

A friend of mine used to talk about not letting life get in the way of living - you know, the little details that can eat up days, then weeks, months, years. I met with a group of artists this weekend for a plein air outing and we talked about our goals. I realized that I'm not working towards mine right now, which kind of bums me out. I have my reasons, or excuses, but 2008 is almost gone and while I bought a new house and moved, and have one large installation to show for it, I'm not moving forward this year like I would wish. I'm a mid-career artist as far as age and how long I've been in the game, but I'm not where I want to be. My last big show was over a year ago.

I was looking on the internet for an artist that is in a show coming up here at the Arts Center, because I need an image from him and he's notoriously bad about supplying them. I found a ton of articles, show notices, reviews, his recent Guggenheim Fellowship, etc. AND he's about 10 or 15 years younger than me. He doesn't have anything I don't have as far as ability, but he has not let getting married and having a kid get in the way of his work. He paints constantly. I've never been a big producer - even when I'm doing small works. Maybe that's all the difference - I'm not as dedicated to my own work. I spend a lot of time helping other artists, and not nearly enough doing for me.

I'm not sure what I want to do about this - I already have a "studio day" once a week which is about all I can spare from my various jobs and home responsibilities. I have to admit, though, that a lot of times that day gets eaten into by other stuff. Not every week, but too many weeks. No one seems to understand that being an artist is a job that you have to go to on a regular basis or you are just a hobbyist. When I'm in my studio - which right now is full of moving boxes so I take over the dining room instead - I need to be able to be working, not talking to the phone company or dosing the cat or whatever. I used to sit and work in the living room, so I could be with the family while I worked, but the new house has carpet in the den, so I can't work in there (I give the carpet in the house about a year before I yank it out and tile or something.) Instead, I have to isolate myself, which can be a good thing, but it means I miss out on other stuff which is also important.

So, I'm back to that - what's important to me? Or, what's most important to me? My kids are in high school, so they'll be out of the house soon. Do I put my life and career on partial hold until then? My relationship is important, my job is important, argh! And none of this addresses the nuts and bolts of being an artist - not making the work but getting it out there with all that entails - more on that later...